I was grieving, and doing my best to distract myself. My mind was south of the border. Like so many, I have been reading news of violence, racism, a nation falling apart. Article after article, I kept reading in hopes of finding an answer to it all – my feelings, systemic racism, gun control, fear. The more I read, the less I believed in anything. I had little motivation to return to the US. It was time to stop.
I recognized my privilege and expressed gratitude for it. Then, it was time for self care. I took a nap. Then, I painted my toenails a bright purple and put on a brand-new dress reminiscent of something my grandmother would have worn. I even put on a bit of makeup for the first time in a while. Earlier this week, I got my hair cut, completing my look for the evening.
First, out to dinner with family, at a place owned by family. We sat outdoors and shared small plates. At dusk, we walked back from the restaurant more than sated – grilled romaine with hazelnuts, smoked trout croquettes, a full-bodied dry rosé. A brief rest at the condo, then it was time to sing. I hadn’t sung in a week, and it was time again. Time to do the thing that brings me the most joy.
A storm was coming as I walked to the bar. Small drops fell as I walked quickly, beating the downpour by minutes. I ordered a Labatt 50 and watched the rain from a corner table. I sang the songs I wanted to sing, not caring at all about where I was or other song choices. I sang about society then and now; I sang songs that make me happy. I didn’t think about fitting in this night. Thankfully, I didn’t really think about much at all.
- Location: Jekyll and Hyde, Toronto, ON, Canada
- Miles traveled: 310 (a week ago)
- Songs sung:
- Takin’ it to the Streets (Doobie Brothers)
- These are Days (10,000 Maniacs)
- One Things Leads to Another (The Fixx)
- Dreams (Fleetwood Mac)